unimaginable heights

Which male participant on Keeping Up with the Kardashians are you?

Kim’s invited you to Sunday dinner. What are you wearing?

Only my sharpest suit. And some Gucci loafers.
It's Sunday, probably just sweatpants and a hoodie.
Stupid-looking scarf, deep-V tee, diamante cardigan.
Dope ass shit straight out of the ideas lab.
Just my haunting presence.

Describe yourself in 4 words.

The Lord doesn't do answers.
I am a god.
Father, husband, lawyer, man.
What was the question?
It's who you blow.

What would you like to drink?

Espresso martini.
JD and Coke Zero.
Ketel One, I mean water.
A combination of fire and alcohol.

What do you want to listen to?

The sounds of my motherland.
A laugh track for all my witty remarks.
What a stupid question.
You got any pre-Obamacare Gaga?
Type in 'chill beats' on Spotify.

How do you feel about children?

They're my compass.
Little creeps with younger-looking skin than me.
Cute and expensive.
Little monsters but you gotta love 'em. They remind me of me at my age.
I'm so proud of my children. Yes, even that one.

How did you change over the series?

I went from Bieber to Brando.
I managed to hang around until the end.
I made it into art.
I went crazy then sane then crazy again, and I got funnier.
The dead don’t die.

What is your favourite colour?

Babyshit brown.

You are SCOTT!

You're brash and unapologetic. You're like a young kid playing dress-up at the Playboy Mansion. No one had faith in you at first, but you made it work somehow. You're objectively the best.


You are KANYE!

No one saw you coming, yet what a splash you made! You’re a true maverick, an independent spirit, and a loving and committed family man. You are the Walt Disney of this generation.


You are CHEBAN!

You're a hustler with no redeeming qualities, yet you're still here. Hats off for being so hard to get rid of. You even got on Family Feud, how did you do that? You're objectively the worst.


You are ROB!

Oh, Rob. What happened? You were such a happy child.


You are ROB SR.!

You're the only man to have remained unchanged throughout the Kardashian phenomenon, but that’s because you are dead. Rest in lawyer’s heaven.


For fuck's sake just take the quiz! What are you trying to do, get Kim? This isn't Buzzfeed. Go back and answer the questions.